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Massa say not to beat me. I was hopin’ to get da whip cuzin I know da pain of da beatin’ be ova in a few days. Wut massa do to me, dat pain don’t neva go way. Dat pain be in my heart, you know, you kin’t touch it but it be dere, from de sun to da moon ‘n back to da sun one mo’ ‘gain. Massa hurt me down dere. He make sure I know not to run away no mo’ ‘n he make me do awful things to make me pay. He say I need to know my place so he tell his sons to do things to me down dere too. Iffin’ I wuz all de way white, I could choose who could know me in de bible way. Slave gals don’t have no say in dat. Adam been down almost 2 weeks. His fever dun broke but he tain’t ate nuffin’ yet. I be givin’ him tea with hyssop, nettle, ‘n honey in it fo’ when he get his strength back. Dey’s healin’ roots from in de bible so I knows dey gotsta work. His wounds got ‘fected real terrible like ‘n I had ta clean ’em e’ry night after doin’ ma chores. I knows he gunna be betta, I’s can feel it in ma bones. . I love her that much. But just in case, unknown to me at the time she took some pictures of me getting dressed up in women's clothes for the first time. She said she would send them to my boss if I don't do what she wants:- wear a training bra and panties at all times.- daily take the hormone concoction she gave me. (Did I mention she is in medical school?)- let my hair grow out.- keep the rest of my body smooth.- write this diary daily.- keep on the diet she started me on.- practice with the makeup kit she gave me.It is a lot to ask, but to be with her I'd do anything.Before I left her, she was 'nice enough' to replace my underwear with a selection of bras and panties. The other big news is that she wants me to wrap up my work here, then move in with her! I'm still struggling with how to do that, but I bet she'll help me.Day 10:Well, Lisa convinced me to move in with her in Saint Louis. We had a long conversation, but in the end it turned out to be an easy sell. How could I expect.
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